...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Everything about him screamed your future.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
