So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
