okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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