Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
organizing the empties. That sober.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
