don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
