I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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