I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize