After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wat bout pragnant strippers??
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
