I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
