i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
