You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
