i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize