Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize