hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
