she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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