highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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