I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
