my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
