the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
