Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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