we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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