so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
