Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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