Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
