Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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