It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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