Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize