He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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