I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
