I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i barfeds in our rink
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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