there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
