Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
