He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
