she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
