well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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