it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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