and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
