Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
