did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
