Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
