I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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