i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
