I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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