Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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