the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just had sex bonerless
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
