Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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