Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
