He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
