I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
