he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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