he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
