I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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