uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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