About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
