Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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