Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
