Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
