Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
