I should be sponsored by Trojan
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
