friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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