So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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