she was so not down for the gang bang
I will die if light touches me.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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