You made me cry and you don't even care
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize