I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
