HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
