drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Green mimosas i think yes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
