Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
